Well as predicted we hatched a plan to spend the bank holiday Monday on Cottesloe beach which is on the southern train line about 9 short stops from Perth centre. After our standard routine of getting up and fannying about looking like a couple of dithering idiots we got our shit together and headed downstairs to tap into the free breakfast arrangement which we have with the Billabong hostel. I hadn’t had the pleasure of sampling the intense range of goodies on offer in the Billabong breakfast arena…God the choice was incredible, brown bread, white bread, butter and jam…Shit that sort of variation is off the hook, so much so that I didn’t know what to do with it all. So I tucked into 4 slices of wholemeal bread with two types of jam, the apricot which tasted like peanut butter and the raspberry which taste like ‘woe and pain’ on bread. But there you go, it filled me up at least. I also had a glass of coffee after losing my cup the night before from drinking too much ‘goon’. It was one of those free McDonalds glasses which you get for ordering an embarrassingly large stodge feast of a meal which could tide Rick Waller over for a day or feed 3 henched racing horses. All in all the brekkie got me off to a champion start to the day and it was with Scotty Dogg and our Boy from Laos John where we skipped off down the road like a trio of inept schoolkids right down to the ‘Perth station massive’ where the weather was giving everyone the vibe ‘a’ saurus rex to get tanned up and smashed up on any given beach. Of course our beach was Cottesloe 🙂 renowned for beautiful people, busy crowds, immense Sunday sessions (getting hammered drunk on a Sunday in an attempt to look the shitiest at work the following day) and more recently a spate of shark sightings and fatalities.
With this in mind I could only think to buy alcohol, suntan lotion and stay away from the sea, Jaws and all his beady eyed mates! I will never learn to surf at this rate which is my last ditch effort to look remotely cool and very much down with the kids!!! The train journey only took around 20 minutes and we had some pretty varied banter about Spiderman, Laos and listening to Scotty Dogg drivel on about the name of a manga character which was located on some small aboriginal child’s shoe opposite him. Of course he gave up eventually and admitted defeat, not to mention the fact that his heart wasn’t in the conversation and he was speaking in a kind of dribble/slur which left me short of words and in hysterics. It seems when you go travelling and do not re-educate yourself regularly you become somewhat feral and a little bit awkward to be around, haha. (This also stems from reading one book in three and a half months at a backwards and unenthusiastic pace- anyone who has picture books for Scotty Dogg then please give generously, all donations are welcome, failing that any suggestions are also invited). I’m starting to get concerned that he will become Mr Pitt and pull a Benjamin Button maneuver on me leaving me to clean up his crap and take part in some extremely limited one way banter…LET’S REEDUCATE SCOTTY!
Gotta go now I forgot I have a film date in the extremely small TV room in the Billabong backpackers…So this post is gonna have to be a two parter- I promise tomorrow all will be revealed with regards to 18 ciders and the rest of my whirlwind lifestyle haha…Laters people